Forget Them Not

Time has always played a significant role in our lives. From the time we are born to the time of our death, “Forget Them Not” is a tribute to a time in our lives and around the time of events that shape who we are and how we all move forward. As a young girl, this was apparent in my family and lifestyle. As time catches up, I am passionate about reflecting on my feelings of love, loss, and timestamps of life. 

As a young teenager, I was absorbing my rich cultural heritage and their profound perspectives on life, the cornerstone of our existence. Though not artists in the traditional sense, my hardworking parents possessed an unparalleled ability to turn beauty out of the ordinary. Witnessing their creativity come to life was mesmerizing. From this moment, I inherited the dreamer’s spirit – a strong passion for dreaming and envisioning a different way of life for myself. Like them, I began to sow the seeds of my ambitions and nurture what held significance in my values. 

My Italian upbringing stood apparent in contrast to the norms around me, prompting reflections on the uniqueness of our cultural practices. My father and I once skinned rabbits in the confines of our garage, or should I say I assisted him, as that event left a permanent impression on me. For our large Italian family, rabbits were a staple in our culinary traditions. But this day, witnessing rabbits prepared for life-altering festivities was a profound detail in time. It felt as though I watched the loss of cherished beings. My bunnies became symbols of beloved individuals, victims in a world that can be harsh. In my imagination and visions of thought, I grant them a place in a realm fused with love, where their passing is sacred, adored, and commemorated. They morphed into imaginary companions, returning to life through my paintings, infusing them with love and honour.

My painting, “Forget Them Not” is a tribute to those who question time and the diverse cultures and ways of life that exist beyond our own. This pivotal experience relentlessly influences the person I am today. Time, love, and memories have shaped my thought processes and redefined my very being. Remembering family and the multitude of cultures that comprise it, I find a profound richness that should be cherished and embraced where time heals time in an era of time.

GATEWAY TO YOUR SOUL

This piece is a personal journey for me, centered on the profound significance of the eyes.

When I think of my mother, the image of her eyes on that day, as she got on the bus, has never left me and feels forever sewn into my very being. I have kept this exchange with her eyes close to my heart since I was eight years old and have never forgotten that intense, meaningful gaze.

One day, my mother and I were boarding a bus. She couldn’t drive at the time, so she sat on one side and allowed me to sit on the opposite side. As a young girl, I was curious and restless, wiggling in my seat as children often do. She was a strong, beautiful woman with piercing blue eyes like the ocean. As she looked at me, her eyes locked with mine, speaking to me silently and clearly. I never forgot that image—her eyes speaking volumes without a single word. That moment of silent communication remains etched in my memory, the magic of it resonating deeply within me as she seemed to peer into my soul.

When I express myself through paint on canvas, the eyes are always the first mark I make. This piece stands as a testament to that initial, silent exchange with my mother.

In my youth, I saw immense struggle and passion in my mother’s eyes. She always said that eyes are meant to be seen and to see through. I’ve learned to use that insight, guiding my own eyes to follow the light on a journey through the minds of others and myself. Now that I’m older, I understand the depth of passion and struggle she felt. I see the eyes as a powerful form of expression and a portal to the souls I paint.

This contemplation often leaves me wondering what it would be like to walk through the eyes of others and myself, as they are the gateway to our souls. By using my mind to see and enter that gateway, I explore my journey further, discovering the passions that envelop both others and myself.

Exploring every part of my being, encountering my inner darkness, and witnessing what lies beyond a door brings magic and excitement. Discovering oneself through strength, inspiration, and creativity is profound. This incredible magic allows me to see deeper into that dark tunnel, eagerly providing more insight. It is my chance to cleanse without stifling my creativity. Social responsibility, family, war, love, and tears are images seen through the eyes. Through creation and imagination that transcend the norm, I gather the courage to confront myself, embrace vulnerability, and face the silence that surrounds me.

As a creator, I am merely scratching the surface. I must delve deeper within myself to find solace in my inner sanctuary—a place of safety where I can be truly myself without fear.

Upon entering my sanctuary, The Hidden Realm, you encounter my dreams and struggles, hearing only the voice of darkness that has always existed within me but is buried deep.

Only I can shed tears and learn to forgive those who doubt me. I must stay true to myself, for without dreams and magical thinking, we would drown in darkness, unable to see the light that surrounds us.

OSTIARIUS

At some point in life, everyone encounters a gatekeeper in one form or another. For me, this gatekeeper embodies the force behind reality and illusion—a state of mind akin to entering a complex machine that operates incessantly before rejuvenating itself for the night. It’s a state of mind I cherish.

The gatekeeper is the custodian of energy, orchestrating communication throughout the creative process, and safeguarding all that is sacred, thus harmonizing the inner self and laying the groundwork for a fresh start.

In my realm, the gatekeeper (Ostiarius) is the threshold to another world, a clandestine domain where dreams materialize, and darkness serves as the canvas for boundless imagination—a realm devoid of boundaries and limitations.

As I tread through the seemingly endless path of darkness, distant lights emerge to guide me towards an unknown haven of tranquility. Here, I shed all burdens, reigning as the sovereign of my hidden kingdom, traversing fields adorned with vibrant blooms and golden hues, as the light reflects my fervor in the distance.

The dark caves serve as a poignant reminder that fear has no place in transforming rare beauty into its purest essence. To navigate uncharted territories and carve my niche in time, I must align with the universe, embracing risks and evolution, for within darkness lies the potential for everyday life to embrace extraordinary beauty.

Embracing self-belief and the boundless prospects to explore and indulge in passions epitomizes the essence of the gatekeeper within us all—our personal Ostiarius.

SEEDS THAT GROW IN DARKNESS

Ever contemplated how the mind stores information, laying the foundation for branching out into unexplored realms? I often reflect on my journey, from a mere seed to the flourishing being I am today. From an early age, I was drawn to the earth, relishing the sensation of moist soil underfoot, running hands through gardens, embracing the scent of growth and decay—a vivid affirmation of life. Yet, amid this vibrancy, a curiosity led me into the darkness, where I planted seeds of the unknown, fueled by imagination.

This painting delves into the realms I traverse when seeking complete darkness—a sanctuary for my mind to sow seeds, witnessing them evolve into new possibilities. It’s a refuge for dreaming the impossible and fully surrendering to the obscurity that, paradoxically, nurtures growth. In this comforting abyss, I find solace, reminding me that a humble seed in the mind can blossom into extraordinary beauty when surrounded by darkness—a world I willingly embrace.

Constantly decomposing and renewing oneself, akin to tending a garden with fresh soil, watering, and pruning, fosters change, growth, and equilibrium. This ongoing process transforms into a beautiful manifestation, evoking feelings of calm, serenity, joy, and happiness. Hence, darkness becomes my source of joy, emotional fulfillment, and peace—a realm of perpetual growth and gratitude.

Celebration of Life

As this painting unfolds and reaches completion, it serves as a poignant reflection of my memories and emotions surrounding the loss of my parents, while also celebrating the enduring love I hold for them. It stands as a heartfelt tribute to their presence in my life and the profound impact they’ve had on me as an artist.

The image of my father’s flourishing gardeners’ pot of flowers becomes a powerful symbol of his resilience and the joy he found in nurturing life despite the challenges he faced. Our conversations about life became timeless moments of connection, and through this painting, I pay homage to his memory and the profound influence he had on shaping me as a person and an artist.

Similarly, my mother’s ability to bring color and beauty to our lives represents her vibrant spirit and the daily inspiration she provided. As I paint, I carry their memories with me, expressing profound gratitude for their influence on my culture and artistic journey.

I fondly remember butterflies fluttering around us as I grew up, symbolizing the innocence and wonder of childhood. These cherished memories hold a special place in my heart and continue to manifest in my own colorful garden, providing a sense of connection to my past and the natural world.

The loss of both my parents, especially my father’s passing without anyone by his side, evokes a profound sense of loneliness. It also brings to light the challenging circumstances faced by many during the Covid-19 pandemic, where physical presence and support were limited. This painting serves as a reminder of the universal experience of loss and the collective grief felt by people worldwide during those trying times.

Ultimately, this artwork becomes a tribute to everyone who has loved and lost. It acknowledges the shared human experience of grief and invites those who resonate with these emotions to find solace and connection within its depiction. The painting symbolizes a hidden realm of love, beauty, and peace, where we can find comfort and drift off into dreams that transcend the limitations of our everyday lives.

Through this heartfelt expression, I extend an invitation to others to celebrate life’s beauty in their own unique ways and cherish the memories of their loved ones. It becomes a poignant reminder to embrace love, seek peacefulness, and appreciate the sense of safety that allows us all to enter that hidden realm where we can dream the impossible.